Desperately Seeking a Role Model

I remember a book that came out in the 90’s called  “Reviving Ophelia:  Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls.  The book  takes a look at the effects of societal pressures on teenage girls, centering around the lack of positive models for young women and how they cave to the framework within which they see themselves through the eyes of society.

Being at this stage of my life, I could use a book called “The Art of Being Fifty:  Embracing the Decade with Grace” or something along these lines.  Talk about the effects of societal pressures on aging women  –  if I look towards the influences I see in the public arena  today, all I seem to see is plastic surgery –  the cure for getting old.   I mean, let’s face it  – where are the role models for fifty somethings?   This is the decade where our bodies go through some drastic changes and the aging process starts to speed up a bit,  yet the answers out there seem to be cosmetic, as if tightening up our faces will make us better, make us happier, make us more presentable to society.   It appears to be a desperate attempt to cling to our youth as if getting old is something to be ashamed of.

Last week I went to see “The Sessions” with Helen Hunt and I was so distracted by the Botox on her forehead  that it took away from the movie – I mean, her forehead didn’t move! Not to pick on Helen Hunt, but I could come up with a long list of famous women who have chosen the plastic surgery option.

Check out the documentary “Searching for Debra Winger” by Rosanna Arquette – it does an excellent job of addressing the pressures aging women face, especially in Hollywood.  I first saw this film 10 years ago when it first came out, and I didn’t identify with it at the time, but now it seems very relevant.

Isn’t it okay if we just stick with what we’ve got?   At this age, women have years of experiences which make us more interesting and generally more productive, so why is the prevailing theory that changing our outward appearance will make us more acceptable to others, and most importantly, to ourselves?

To quote from Searching for Debra Winger:

Martha Plimpton: Humor. Intelligence. Talent. Imagination. Bravery. Skill. When you deny all those things, what have you got? So you can’t blame women for resorting to that kind of standard {plastic surgery} when they’ve discounted all their other options {of sticking with what they have.}