…A Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss
This is a great philosophy to have however I am finding with age, my stone is rolling a tad bit slower and gathering more moss than ever before. What gives? Back when I was a spring chicken, I noticed that older adults “stones” crept down the path, and spending time with them used to drive me crazy! They would get so flustered over the smallest details and seemed to have lost the ability to roll with it. I found it exhausting to witness and utterly frustrating. As I take a look at myself now however; I realize that I too am now slowly evolving into that which I am having a hard time recognizing – the much slower rolling stone, one that is taking its time moving down a very small incline. I tell myself – Rage, Rage, Rage against the dying of the light but I am fearing that this is out of my control.
Some concrete examples might you ask? Take travel, for example. With each passing year, I like to get to the airport earlier and earlier. I check the weather a week before the flight and sweat about the potential of a storm. It takes me longer to get out of the house in the morning as I review everything I packed. Just last week when traveling I was asked by the ticket agent at the gate if I wanted to check in my bag because the plane was full – I panicked. I never check in a bag – should I check in a bag? The mere decision I had to make threw me for a loop.
How to explain this? In researching, there appears to be a loss of brain flexibility as we age. After age 40, the brain begins to shrink in size and, after a lifetime of gaining accumulated knowledge, it becomes less efficient at accessing that knowledge and adding to it. It’s like our brain just needs a “time out”. I’m not a big believer that this can be remedied, although the website Lumosity, which provides exercises to strengthen the brain, would have you believe otherwise. I gave the site a whirl, created a login and password and began building my personal training program by selecting the areas of memory I wanted to train. After answering a series of questions, I was presented with a pie chart showing the areas I needed to improve on and from there, it was on to my “exercises”. Did I find this fun and engaging exercise for my brain? NO – I found this to be just one more thing I had to do, one more thing to worry about and the amount of concentration I had to apply to all the exercises gave me sweaty palms. No thank you.
I could be wrong, but I think that as we age, regardless of our brains shrinking, we just get tired. We have moved on to the “I need to take care of me ” phase which means we are old enough to say NO! I find that with aging and life, the key is acceptance. The human brain is very big and complex, but just does not age well. It becomes increasingly vulnerable to all sorts of malfunctions the older we get and obviously, there is a slight shift in cognitive functions. I am not viewing this as a bad thing; rather something that is what it is. Given this reality I am faced with, I do intend to do my best to resolve to be more flexible, realize that the worst thing probably won’t happen, and continue to try to let things roll off my back. Dylan Thomas’ famous poem “Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night” is easily applicable to this situation – accept it but RAGE to keep it at bay.
Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on that sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Life Experiences Add Up 