The Child Within

We were all once children, and still have that child dwelling within us. But most adults are quite unaware of this. The fact is that the majority of so-called adults are not truly adults at all. We all get older, but, psychologically speaking, this is not adulthood. True adulthood hinges on acknowledging, accepting, and taking responsibility for loving one’s own inner child. For most of us, this never happens. Instead, our inner child has been denied, neglected, disparaged, abandoned or rejected.

As we move from childhood into adulthood,  we stop acknowledging our inner child. For some reason adults seem to find it hard to put themselves first, to listen to that voice that says “this is what I need so honor me please!”  As adults, we can rail against almost anything, knowing that it doesn’t feel right, and we are left wondering why.  The why is your internal child stating “what about me – this is not good for me.”

Recognizing your true self, when you get right to it, boils down to loving yourself.   Sure, most of us take care of our physical body, we exercise, eat right, and get adequate sleep, but this is self-care, not self-love.  The loving I am talking about is the loving of the uniqueness of you.

This loving yourself business can be hard, but once you begin down this road, it gets easier and easier.  At first I looked at this practice as a selfish one.  We are taught to shy away from making everything about us.  What I have found though, that in most cases, putting yourself first mentally frees you up to be the best you can be, which allows you to love others to the best of your ability while coming from a healthy and strong position.

Have you sometimes just not wanted to go out when asked?  Are you in a dysfunctional relationship that is detrimental and damaging to you?  Are you unhappy at work, shutting down that voice that says – I want to be doing something different – this is not me. This lack of conscious relatedness to our own inner child is precisely where so many behavioral, emotional and relationship difficulties stem from.

The  practice of loving yourself can turn into a very good habit.  You need to get quiet and just sit with yourself a bit.  The steps can be little at first, but they will pave the way for you to get there.  How?  Have fun by yourself, forgive yourself, surprise yourself – most importantly – give yourself a break!  I set aside time on the weekends for a bath.  I add epsom salts, bath oil and bubbles, I light a candle and read.  This is my time just for me and it is rejuvenating.  Work on self trust, and most importantly, learn how to love by saying no to others.  When warranted, saying no helps you establish healthy boundaries, enables others to have clarity about what they can expect from you, and you recognize and honor your inner child in the process.

Try to view your inner voice as your go to phone a friend.  Ask yourself  – is this good for me?  Get quiet, still, and the answers will come.  The benefits are tenfold.  Spend time with you!