FOMO

Hello there! I’ve taken a few months off from blogging – not sure why but I just got bogged down in life, primarily due to coming off of the Pandemic. I had two glorious years of not much going on, as life was more or less in lockdown, but in 2022, I hit the ground running. So here I sit, busier than ever, and I am working through FOMO, big time.

FOMO, the “Fear of Missing Out,” is defined as the feeling or perception that others are having more fun, living better lives, or experiencing better things than you are. This state of mind is alive and well in 2022 and is the cause of significant stress for many people. Once life began to open up after the Pandemic, I reluctantly left the comfort of my home to fill my calendar with activities after work and on weekends. Hence – the FOMO crept in. What if I said no to offers of living my best life? After all, I am so crucial to everyone’s happiness I can’t possibly miss out (note the sarcasm).

After perseverating on the concept of FOMO, I concluded that FOMO is not absolute, and is a state of mind that reflects insecurity and powerlessness. It is another disorder that robs you of today. Worrying or feeling so envious that you are not in a place where everyone is “having the time of their lives” is devastating to the psyche. On top of feeling like you are missing out, social media allows you to see the great time everyone is having, adding more torture to the table.

I speak from experience, as this year, for the first time in eight years, I did not ride RAGBRAI (The Des Moines Registers Great Annual Bike Ride Across Iowa). My husband and I make the annual trek across Iowa every year with a team of 20, and we ride our bikes across Iowa, west to east, as a part of a collective group of 10,000 humans, give or take. The experience of RAGBRAI keeps improving, with memories piling on each other. How could I not go and miss these opportunities even though my reason was legitimate? My pregnant daughter came home for the week to hang with me and attend a baby shower thrown in her honor – there was no choice involved, just dreaded FOMO.  

Canceling RAGBRAI was the best decision I made in a long time. I focused on gratitude for having the opportunity to spend time with my daughter, and I enjoyed every minute of it. I felt empowered by simply doing what I wanted without that dreaded feeling of missing out. I did not miss out on anything and would have missed out on special family time if I had gone. Keep in mind how perilously close people can come to missing out on their own lives due to FOMO.

A myriad of reasons causes the decision-making of what to do and what not to do. It could be as simple as having a cold or not feeling well. Sometimes we are double booked and need to choose one event over another, and sometimes life gets in the way, and attending the said function is not an option. No matter the reason, make the decision and merely see what happens, what evolves out of honoring yourself, your inner voice, and intuition that guides you in one direction or another. You have no idea what will happen. Missed a great party because you were sick? Who knows – maybe you will stumble across the best movie you have ever seen, or you will get a call from a long-lost friend. Plus, going somewhere just for FOMO is no reason to go at all.

Let’s face it – do you want to be out with someone who is only there for fear of missing out? Here’s a scary thought – what if everyone is gathered together for the same reason? What’s the fun in that? That sounds like a cluster of insecurity, endless photo opportunities, and going on Social Media to say – look at me!! You cannot predict how you will feel if you go somewhere due to FOMO, but know this – FOMO is this scary monster that robs you of the NOW, literally tying your hands to enjoying your day, your time, your life as it unfolds.

I know this sounds a bit extreme, but I’ve been there. I have been paralyzed by the “should I go or shouldn’t I” dilemma, and I don’t want to be there anymore. Don’t let your sense of “normal” becomes skewed to where you seem to be doing worse than your peers. People are comparing their best, picture-perfect experiences, which may lead you to wonder what you lack. Knock it off. Own your choices, don’t second guess and make the right decision for you at the time. Take care of yourself!

I did not miss RAGBRAI one bit. I thought it would be torture, but I was thrilled to be doing something unexpected, and spending time with my daughter is invaluable. I tried to cherish every moment and was happy for my teammates when they posted photos. There will be another year to ride. Take that to the bank – There will be another time for you when it works. I stumbled across this quote on Goodreads, and it’s one we should all use. Delete FOMO from your life and incorporate JOMO.

 JOMO is choosing to ignore the Joneses (NOT just NOT keep up).

The Lovely Coconut

You put de lime in de coconut, you drink ’em bot’ togedder

Put de lime in de coconut, then you feel better

Put de lime in de coconut, drink ’em bot’ up

Put de lime in de coconut and call me in the morning

 Harry Edward Nilsson

At this point, if my doctor recommended putting lime in coconut to make my stomach feel better, I would say I’m in. The classic Harry Nilsson song is about a woman who has a bellyache, and her doctor recommends she put a lime in a coconut, drink it all up, and call him in the morning. The doctor is prescribing coconut as a cure for a bellyache. I think the coconut is a remedy for almost anything – skincare, belly fat, antibacterial uses, cognitive processing, sleep, etc. Think I’m crazy? Let’s dig into this a bit.

I have been hearing about the benefits of coconut oil and the coconut but didn’t pay attention. Then I started drinking bulletproof coffee. Bulletproof coffee combines coffee made from high-quality beans with unsalted butter and a medium-chain triglyceride (MCT), such as that derived from coconut oil. The ingredients are blended, served warm, and resemble a creamy latte. Wait, what? Butter and coconut oil? The combination is heavenly – I don’t have the coffee crash, I have more energy than ever, and I started dreaming again. Is this coconut oil too good to be true?

The History of Coconut Oil

Did you know that the history of Coconut oil is as old as 4000 years? There is an estimated 3960 years in documenting the edible and healing properties of coconut flesh, coconut oil, coconut water, and coconut milk.

Alexander P. Ashbourne is the inventor of refining coconut oil. He first received a patent for treating coconut on Aug 21, 1877. The coconut oil process starts with filtration and bleaching by filtering it through an activated clay filter. The oil is heated to a very high temperature to remove any remaining coconut scent or taste and finally hydrogenated to ensure that no unsaturated fatty acids remain in the oil. Coconut oil has been full steam ahead since its inception. Unlike vegetable oils that contain unsaturated plant-based oils that cause heart disease, coconut oil contains natural saturated fats, with the health benefits of increasing HDL good cholesterol levels in your body. The uses for the coconut are many.

Health and Beauty

Coconut oil comprises a unique combination of natural fats, making it helpful in treating the skin. Ingredients include linoleic acid (beneficial for acne-prone skin) and lauric acid (hydrating and antimicrobial). Coconut oil helps to improve skin barrier function and repair, has anti-inflammatory and antibacterial properties, fights the signs of skin aging, and makes an effective moisturizer. You will save hundreds of dollars by substituting expensive health and beauty products with coconut. You can use coconut oil for the following:

  • Deep Conditioning – Rub a tablespoon of coconut oil all over your hair and let it sit overnight – rinse out in the morning using shampoo. (Note – put a towel on your pillow while you sleep as the oil is a bit greasy).

  • Nighttime Moisturizer – Rub coconut oil all over your face in a circular motion – the bonus is that you will get the benefits of a face massage. Rinse with your face-wash of choice.

  • Use in Place of Lotion – Coconut oil is commonly used as a hydrating oil in its raw form or as a moisturizer ingredient, making it the perfect way to moisturize your entire body. I use coconut oil body cream, and it’s heavenly.

  • Nourish Dry Cuticles – Massaging coconut oil into your cuticles and the skin around your nails can bring much-needed moisture to an often overlooked part of the body.

  • Use in the Bath – Forget buying bath oils – dissolve a few tablespoons of coconut oil in your bath – your skin will thank you.

Cooking

Any recipe that calls for vegetable oil, replace it with coconut oil. Before cooking with coconut oil, it’s essential to understand which type you’re using. The smoke point of virgin coconut oil is 350°F — best for baking and sautéing. The smoke point of refined coconut oil is 400°F, making it a better option for frying or cooking at higher temperatures. You can substitute coconut oil 1:1 for other oils and butter in most cases. Since coconut oil usually comes in glass jars and is solid at room temperature, the best way to measure it is to heat it until it’s a liquid. If you’re sautéing with coconut oil or using it to grease baking pans, consider buying it in cooking spray form. You can store coconut oil in your pantry or fridge. Important – reach for virgin or unrefined coconut oil (organic whenever possible) for optimal health benefits.

Coconut Flour is another excellent use of coconut. You can use coconut flour as a unique alternative to wheat flour. For those people who cannot tolerate gluten, coconut flour is a popular option. If you are a low-carb enthusiast – coconut flour is for you. Aside from being nutritious, coconut flour can also be beneficial in promoting blood sugar stability, better digestion, heart health, and even weight loss.

Derivatives of the Coconut

In addition to the oil from the coconut, numerous items derive from this delicious fruit, with coconut milk coming to mind. Coconut milk is an opaque, milky-white liquid extracted from the grated pulp of mature coconuts. For any recipe that calls for milk, replace it with coconut milk. It contains medium-chain fatty acids, is lactose-free, has anti-inflammatory, anti-microbial, and anti-fungal properties, and may reduce stomach ulcers. There is no difference in taste, so why not go with a better option than milk? Dairy products contribute to the overall saturated fat, calorie, and cholesterol content of the diet and contribute to increased risk of obesity, heart disease, and type 2 diabetes.

Coconut flesh is the raw white meat inside the coconut shell containing high saturated fats. These fats don’t work quite the same way as other types of saturated fat in the body; instead, they might increase fat burning and reduce fat storage. The flesh can be eaten raw and fresh by scraping it out of the shell, or it can be dried and shredded and used as an ingredient for food dishes.

Coconut Water is one of my favorite uses of coconut. After exercising, I drink plenty of coconut water, especially after an intense hot yoga class. It is an excellent solution for treating dehydration related to diarrhea or exercise and is rich in carbohydrates and electrolytes such as potassium, sodium, and magnesium.

There is no harm in giving coconut a whirl – the health benefits are numerous, both inside and out. I’ll leave you with a few bon mots that will become your mantra soon enough.

You had me at coconut.

Don’t worry, drink a coconut.

Living the coconut kind of life.

ORDINARY JANUARY

January has been challenging. I usually look forward to the new year, when the hectic pace of the holiday is in the rearview mirror, allowing me more time to focus on nesting, self-care, and slowing down. January is an oasis in the calendar year. It can offer a new beginning for many – New Year’s resolutions are implemented, dry January becomes a goal for those who give up booze for the month to reset, exercise habits develop, and healthy eating gets pushed to the forefront. Parties and get-togethers rarely happen nor sound fun, and the desire to hunker down and get to know yourself defines the month. These rituals that we attempt to resonate for the year are why I have loved January for so long. My beloved “get to know you” month is a bit of an anomaly for me now as I’m struggling to get through.

How did I get here – somewhat miserable in my favorite month of the year? I can point to coming off of a pandemic, for starters. Stuck inside with limited outside activities seemed like a never-ending January. I had all the time in the world ahead of me, looming on the horizon. Coming home from work meant turning off my computer in my home office and heading into the evening with many choices for spending my time. Being confined to home for so long started out as a luxury I embraced with fervor, but that luxury turned into a feeling of being stuck. After spending the better part of two years traveling less, socializing and entertaining less, along with a slow down of life in general, soaking up what January offers – spending countless hours on the couch with a good book and time to fill, is no longer a treat. My pastimes are just that – a way to pass the time until 10 pm, so I can go to bed. What I looked forward to so much has become more of a way to fill the spaces of my everyday, ordinary life. These gems that life provides stopped being shiny and bright and took on a dull tone.

Lounging around and working on reinventing myself is no longer a treat because, quite simply, I have all the time in the world to do just that. I found that I don’t need January to provide this for me. Life comprises quiet moments, long days, and routine for all of us – day in and day out. Age is a huge factor as I no longer have little kids who demand so much from us. But even for those who have little ones and active lives after work hours, life can get a bit stale when it revolves around the same set of circumstances. The daily grind can get old for anyone, especially in January, when the world is supposed to be born anew, and we find ourselves in a rut.

Downtime like this of any sort is really just living. It brings to the forefront that blessed with ample time, most of us are not jet setting across the world or going on expensive shopping sprees – most of us are faced with the fact that our lives are not that exciting. But what accompanies exciting – stress and drama, are not sustainable or healthy ways to live – and that’s the rub. We crave intensity and constant activity to fill the spaces, but simplicity is really where it’s at. We all need this time when things seem simple to find joy in them. That first cup of coffee in the morning, putting the kids on the school bus, being home with such regularity to actually meal plan, and enjoying those crockpot sloppy joes is nothing more than a privilege. Watering plants, reading at night, grabbing that Saturday morning mocha, kissing your partner in the morning, talking about your day, and walking around the neighborhood are not toxic activities. Ordinary and mundane are the nuts and bolts of what life is – the simple puzzle pieces that create our framework of living when put together.

January will leave us in a few short days, and February will be the gateway to slightly warmer weather, more opportunities to be busy, and more hustle and bustle to life. If we play our cards right, we can reflect on these last few precious weeks where we felt as if our lives were dull and ordinary and hold them to a higher standard. The expression “Plain-Jane” comes to mind, which means nothing more than ordinary, nothing fancy or glamorous. At least outwardly, being a “Plain-Jane” is what most of life is about. Navigating the same old is enriching to our lives and makes us who we are. Work to keep this special. Trust me – the ordinary is what you will miss when life gets hectic.